You are a parent, do you believe you have to solve all of your kids’ problem? Or, do you want to let your kid handle his or her own problem? Just like adults, the kids, no matter their age group, also face a lot of problems.
When the kids encounter problems, they go through various emotions such as anger, fear, pain, frustrations, etc. Just like for an adult, anger, fear, pain, frustrations are real for the kid. Sadly, kids cannot properly address their emotions, they do not know what is right and what is wrong, they go by impulse and instinct. Therefore, it is your duty as a parent to step in and help channelize kids’ emotional responses.
Kids encounter different kinds of emotions like fear, pain, frustrations, anger etc. They experience these emotions when things like friendship break up, sibling rivalry, or loss of pet occurs.
What to do when your kids go through friendship break up
One of common problems, but not addressed properly is friendship breakup. When your kids encounter friendship break up how do you help your kid?
The first and the foremost thing is Do NOT, I repeat do not speak words that have adult ring. Speak about friendship breakup to your child in the language he/she can understand. The kid does not understand that friends come and go and in the later life he/she will go through a lot of friendship break ups.
To help your child handle a friendship breakup, you must have the ability to judge the age group. A child who is suffering from friendship breakup is not willing to listen to you or if he/she listens, he/she will not understand you. If they are crying, sit next to them, hug them and let them cry. Once they spill their pain by crying to their heart’s content, they will be ready to confide how they feel about the friendship breakup and all the feelings associated with this situation.
As an adult you have gone through a lot of friendship breakups. Your experience can be a life’s lesson for your kids. Tell your child every time you left school, went to college, switched on jobs, moved in the new neighborhood, you left old friends and made new ones. You got married, moved to new places and went on making friends.
Drawing comparison with the similar situations can improve situations in some cases. Therefore, you can compare your child’s situations with the people suffering more. When you compare your child with someone in a worse position, he/she often experiences negative emotions such as agitation, anxiety and irritation. If you make your child aware about the true stories, he/she will get involved in the stories and identify with the person in the story. These negative emotions are in fact an expression of empathy. It is good for your child to be empathetic because his/her own problem now becomes insignificant. Once a child believes how insignificant his/her problem is he/she will be able to handle a friendship breakup.
How to handle sibling rivalry in kids
When you beget second child, your first child could be feel less loved and begin to show tantrums. If unchecked, this could lead to serious sibling rivalry.
Sibling rivalry is common in families where there is more than one kid. If you do not handle your kids’ sibling rivalry early one, it will become one of the biggest mistakes of your life in terms of parenting. When you do not help your kids handle sibling rivalry, it will continue lifelong.
Generally speaking, there are three main reasons for sibling rivalry in kids. One, when you begin to prefer one child over other, the other child will feel neglected and will begin to hate his/her sibling. Two, rivalry is also a human nature, and just out of human nature, a kid may begin to hate his/her sibling. Three, better performance also creates rivalry, if one kids performs better, another kid will begin to hate his/her sibling.
There are a lot of things that parents can do to help kids handle sibling rivalry, for example:
- Do not make comparisons between the kids in front of them. Do not compare your one child with others or with your neighbors/friends’ kids. Kids All kids have talent and shortcomings. You need to nurture their talent and help them overcome shortcomings.
- Do not praise one kid in front of others just because he has performed better in school.
- Get them involved in activities that require equal participation so that they understand teamwork.
How do you help your kids handle emotional responses related to friendship break up or sibling rivalry, please share in the comment box?